I'm supposed to get up here
And say, "Boy, you've got class!"
You're so full o' fuckin' talent
That it drips outta your crack!
That if you follow your dreams
It'll all come to pass
"This here's a meritocracy!"
Man, get your head outta your ass.
IT IS NOT.
Good morning.
I had a privileged life, AND I got lucky, AND I'm unhappy.
What, you want to make sense
AND talk in rhyme?
Fine, this is it, here it goes,
You ungrateful fucking swine.
It's puberty and
Growing pains,
Having political "opinions", and a
Growing sense of shame
It's Anderson Cooper
On C-N-friggin'-N
What a fine arse on that man,
Can I get an amen?!
Masturbation on a daily basis
(My girlfriend only got us past two bases)
There's hentai and octopii
Unnecessarily fetishized
Unnecessarily fetishized
American Psycho 101 says
Read a book by Freud!
Read a book by Freud!
(I had a weird dream about an uncle, okay bitch? Sue me.)
Oh gosh darn, it happened again,
I slipped outta rhyme,
And hurt your wee brain
This is the problem, though, let me to give it to you straight
(Though I'm bent as a faggot),
Bitch, lemme illustrate
The problem
With this
Generation
Is not
Social media or misandry
Or exponential moral rot
Or the kids who don't
Like the Pope anymore
He's a swell guy, really,
But I just wanna elope
With my hell-bound girl, and bottle of 'shine
Netflix and chill, that's the new party line
But the party's stopped cold
There's bombs at the door
There's blood on the floor
The NRA is on every
World leader's honor roll
Even Chaning Tatum couldn't beat
This fucking gun show
There's good boys in jail for committing the crime
Of being born in President Donald Trump's time
Once you go black, you get shot in the back
Try to breathe,
But you can't, you can't, you can't.
This is beginning to hurt, as I start to speak
This hurts all the little parts of me
This is the story of the generation raised to believe
That if you try just a little, you might be on TV!
So all the girls are off showin' their new tits
On some kinda wacko 'empowerment' kick
Which, when you think about it, really, what a great business model
Make a sex tape! Ask Kardashian! It all works out in the long run! :)
They're tellin' us it's fine, kids, it's all good
There's a McD's and an Exxon in every neighbourhood!
Because, come on, guys, haven't any of you heard?
Climate change isn't real!
....Al Gore, damn, you tried man, you really did, that's all that counts. Fuck 'em bro, what do they know, right?
(Whoops, my bad,
Getting back on track)
A little bit of context, here, if you didn't know about this -
Al Gore made "Global Warming" a part of your thesaurus
All the world went, goddamn, that deserves an Oscar
All of America went,
Um.
Nah.
All of America went,
Um.
Nah.
And if you still don't get it, let's get a bit deeper
(haha thats what he said) (Ugh, I need to find Jesus)
Just 2 degrees hotter, you idiot pendejo,
Is a LOT! It's a planet, not a shitty breakfast burrito.
There's a kid already born, who is going to die
Because of catastrophic planet failure
This ain't a fuckin' lie
We've got epidemics of obesity
And at the same time,
African kids starve to death, just down the line.
Explain that one to me, and while you're at it
Serve up some bullshit about saturated fatty acids
"A New Study Shows Ham's Good for your Heart"
And if you wanna fasttrack to hell... It'll do it's part.
At least, that's what I read in the book of the Lord
Not that One, not Him either, no, I mean the other Guy
The real one that's really sitting in the sky
Judging us for all of our sins and our lube
Damning us for our 'exponential moral rot'
Damning us for our 'exponential moral rot'
Preaching hate to the choir, during Sunday school
The all-loving, merciful, genocidal little snot
The all-loving, merciful, genocidal little snot
But
It's fine, it's okay, I've drunk the Kool-Aid
Apparently, we're all
Riding the same highway
Riding the same highway
We're paying our dues, and getting fucked in our asses
We've got Oculus lenses and backstage passes
To this grand fucking shitshow you birthed us into
You fought too many wars and killed too many Jews
You burnt too much coal and raped too many women
You don't even realize the things we've forgiven
So let us be,
This ain't your part
Give us some time
To go back to the start
Exeunt right.
Now.
This was written in memory of You.
___
Several lines of this poem have been lifted verbatim from various sources; other have inspired various stanzas. All are listed below:
(1) Bo Burnham, "Make Happy", Netflix, 2016.
(2)Davis Guggenheim, "An Inconvenient Truth", Screenplay by former Vice President Al Gore, 2006
(3) Stephen Fry, "QI", Series G: Episode 11: "Gifts": Part III, With Clive Anderson, Jimmy Carr and Jan Ravens, BBC One, 2009
(4) Bernie Sanders, "It's Not Over", With Erica Garner, February 2016
(5) Alan Poul,"The Newsroom", Season 3: Episode 3: "Main Justice", HBO, 2014
(6) Brad Bird, "Tomorrowland", Walt Disney Pictures, 2015
(7) Alfred, Lord Tennyson, "In Memoriam A.H.H.", 1849
This was written in memory of You.
___
Several lines of this poem have been lifted verbatim from various sources; other have inspired various stanzas. All are listed below:
(1) Bo Burnham, "Make Happy", Netflix, 2016.
(2)Davis Guggenheim, "An Inconvenient Truth", Screenplay by former Vice President Al Gore, 2006
(3) Stephen Fry, "QI", Series G: Episode 11: "Gifts": Part III, With Clive Anderson, Jimmy Carr and Jan Ravens, BBC One, 2009
(4) Bernie Sanders, "It's Not Over", With Erica Garner, February 2016
(5) Alan Poul,"The Newsroom", Season 3: Episode 3: "Main Justice", HBO, 2014
(6) Brad Bird, "Tomorrowland", Walt Disney Pictures, 2015
(7) Alfred, Lord Tennyson, "In Memoriam A.H.H.", 1849