100 MOVIES OF SUMMER

Hey y'all.

It's been a while., hasn't it?

First off, a little catching up:

The Review Project: Are y'all still into that? It got a pretty good repsonse (Nearly 200 views in all, so far), but if you want me to go on, I may start a kind of poll or something - fully anonymous, so let me know what you guys want, and I'll go with that.

The Loud Project: Next up is a copy of Taylor Swift's Red album cover. No promises for when cause my schedule is so full, it stopped being funny a long time ago.

Okay, that seems to be it. On with the show.

Summer's here! What a bitch, right?

Anyway, Ramadeen Kareem to everyone, and honestly, to all of you guys who're gonna be fasting this summer, you bitches be hardcore, man. Respect.

Still, now you have all this time, and nothign to do. And movies, well, movies are always an option right? Here's another of my crazy lists:

100 of the GREATEST SUMMER MOVIES EVER:

Kinda important note: If you don't actually wanna read the whole thing, a bare list is there if you scroll all the way down. Still this is the fun version so, you know, take your pick.

Summer Movies = not too much plot, hell of a lot of fun, and some crazy hot boys (and girls. Angelina Jolie, yum).

1.    All the Marvel movies ever made (Avengers, Iron Man, CApt. America, Thor)

(Except Edward Norton as Hulk (2008). What as absolute fucking disaster.)

2.    James Bond movies. Especially the ones with Pierce Brosnan and Daniel Craig. Not because they're pretty (though they are *drool), but okay. This happens pretty often:

Aaaaaaand this blog is officially not PG anymore. (Not that it ever was, but still.)

Anyway, check out Die Another Day, Golden Eye, Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace.

3.    Despicable Me & Ice Age & Madagascar & Shrek

Yes they're animated, and honestly? okay, honestly? I do not give a fuck how you're too macho or "cool" or whatever you are to not watch it, okay? FUCKIN WATCH IT. ...I'm such a bully. :s

4.    Independence Day

I'll admit, the CGI is just shit, but, okay, WILL SMITH BATTLES ALIENS PILOTING A SPACESHIP. 'Nuff said.

5.    Indiana Jones Trilogy, bitches!

You thought James Bond was smooth? Awww, that's cute. ....no. This guy was all leather and whips before that pansy-ass bitch Christian Grey became popular. Indiana Jones is a GOD, okay?

So hot you barely notice the man purse. ("IT'S A SATCHEL!") (speaking of which, go watch Hangover, because you're a teenager, and life is awesome.)

5 and 1/2: Lara Croft Trilogy - Why? Because she's the female Indiana Jones. Also because Daniel Craig. Also because treasure hunts and hidden treasures and general kick-ass-ness.

6.    Armageddon, because SHIT. BLOWS. UP. (It's a Michael Bay movie, by the way. You know, the guy who made Transformers? Yeah. Him.)

Also because Ben Affleck is really fucking hot.

God, such pretty lips. (WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME UGH!!!)

Also, if you liked Armageddon, then The Day After Tomorrow because, like Armageddon, the world almost ends, which is always fun to watch, and, like Armageddon, it has that one hot guy you drool over - here, that's Jake Gyllenhaal.

7.    Ted, because you watched all the Hangover movies (and all the American Pie movies) and now you need more pervy crap.

8.    Sherlock Holmes, because Cumberbatch won't be here for another 2 years and we need to make do with Robert Downey Jr. Also, because Robert Downey Jr.

9.    Wanted, because you watched Lara Croft and now you need more Angelina Jolie. Also, James McAvoy and Morgan Freeman. Who kill other people, because that's just how they roll. It's awesome.

If you liked Lara Croft and Wanted, go ahead and watch Salt, because Angelina Jolie is a Russian spy, and wears a trenchcoat. Also, this happens:

Angie's all like, "Jeez, this bitch again. Die." So good.

10.   The Matrix, because it's got mind-bending (LITERALLY) science-fiction, the slickest superhero ever, and lots of people in black leather trenchcoats. Cause let's face it. Trenchcoats are always a sign of good things to come.

The Matrix is a trilogy, but seriously, watch the first movie and then let it go. I don't know what the director was smoking, but I'm pretty sure his dealer took a piss in it, because the sequels suck so bad, they broke my heart.

If you liked the Matrix, or if sci-fi is your thing, go watch Tom Cruise's Minority Report, where there's crazy murders, an evil government, and the best kind of one-man fight for freedom. Be warned for massively insane plotlines and a crazy AU.

11.   Pretty Woman, because this is closest thing I have ever seen to a Cinderella story, and it makes me cry every single time. Also because the lovin' will set your panties on fire. Not for the boys though, sorry.

If you liked Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, be sure to check out Notting Hill, because Hugh Grant and Jules makes the most adorable couple ever. Also because it's kind of a reverse Cinderella story, and Grant is adorkable.

AND, if you like Hugh Grant in Notting Hill, you'll probably love him in Two Weeks Notice opposite Sandra Bullock.

AND, (I'm on a roll now) if you liked TWN, go watch Sandra and Keanu Reeves (the Matrix guy) in the MOST ADORABLE MOVIE OF ALL TIME: "The Lake House".

AND, The Proposal because it's wonderful and dorky and cute and Ryan Reynolds has an amazing butt.

Kay, back to non-sappy movies.

12.    The Ocean's Series and Fast & Furious, because holy shit, how slick are these guys? Two of the best heist franchises I've ever seen (Avoid F&F3:Tokyo Drift, because there has never been a worse movie ever. EVER. )

If you like any of the movies from these two franchises, check out Inside Man featuring Denzel Washington and Clive Owen, as well as Bank Job featuring Jason Statham. Another amazing heist movie is The Italian Job, featuring Mark Wahlberg, Jason Statham and Charlize Theron.

Also, if you're as in love with Jason Statham as I am, check out the Transporter Trilogy, The Mechanic and the Crank series.

If, on the other hand, you just want a good heist/racing movie, then check out Nicholas Cage in Gone in 60 Seconds, and Death Race 1, with, yet again, Jason Statham. I'm in love, whatcha gonna do about it? Huh? HUH?

13.   Terminator, because Arnold Schwarzenegger. Also because okay, machines have feelings too, you heartless bitches. Also because I managed to spell Schwarzenegger.

Real Steel, and look, I know Rotten Tomatoes gave it a shit rating, and I know I'm biased because it has Hugh Jackman, but man, I've seen this movie 4 times now, and I still find it awesome and adorable and totally kick-ass, so it's got something beyond Jackman's triceps going for it okay. It has this:

See that kid? Yeah. That kid is the best thing to happen to cinema in a long while. You watch the movie for that kid, and you're golden, mate.

If you liked Real Steel, I, Robot is pretty much a slam-dunk for you; equal amounts of metallic badassness and robots-have-feelings-too mush. Oh, and Will Smith. That man has the best smile ever.

14.   Every single Christopher Nolan Movie ever made.

·                The Prestige (Dhoom 3 was basically a bad rip-off)

·                Memento (Ghajini was basically a non-sucky rip-off)

·                Inception

·                The Batman trilogy (he gave you Anne Hathaway in a leather catsuit. You owe this man.)

·                Coming soon: Interstellar (Link to teaser trailer here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3WzHXI5HizQ)

15.   The Wolf of Wall Street, because Leo didn't get an Oscar (again), but he sure as hell deserved one.

Can I just mention here: Even though a lot of people have been whinging about how DiCaprio deserved an Oscar and didn't get one for Wolf and blippity-blah-blah, the real movie where he deserved an Oscar was long, long ago: Steven Spielberg's Catch Me If You Can features Leo as a cocky twenty-something who, disguising himself as a pilot, scammed Pan America Airlines of millions of dollars and managed to travel the globe too - for free.

16.   Die Hard series, because Rambo is too old, and The Expendables is too fucking stupid, and Bruce Willis is the ultimate BAMF.

If you liked Die Hard, check out Liam Neeson's Taken, for more father-daughter sappiness, and older men kicking some serious ass.

17.   Now You See Me, because Jesse Eisenberg is the most fabulous bitch to have ever lived, and Dave Franco is heart-breakingly pretty. Also, because it kinda reminded me of The Prestige and Inception and Ocean's Eleven all rolled into one, so if you liked any of those, you like this even more. Also, um, there's Morgan Freeman and Micheal Caine, so if that means anything to you then... yeah. GO WATCH IT.

18.   The Silence of the Lambs, because if you don't Hannibal Lecter will eat your fuckin' tongue. "With a nice Chianti and some fava beans." Hannibal, as played by Anthony Hopkins Jr. was rated as the greatest villain of all time and with good reason people. Don't watch it alone, kay?

19.   The Devil Wears Prada, because dude, you'll be an intern soon, and no matter how much your boss will suck, it can't get any more worse than Anne Hathaway's situation. Also, because like pretty dresses!!!! :D

20.   G. I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra, because I've been in love with Channing Tatum since I was 11, and I haven't gotten over it. But honestly, not any other reasons. Sorry.

21.   The Bourne series, because, no matter how popular Mission IMpossible becomes and how often "The name's Bond. James Bond.", is repeated, Matt Damon as James Bourne is hands-down, pants-off the best spy thriller series ever made.

Also, because this blog needs more Johnny Depp (all good things in life are better with Johnny Depp) go watch The Tourist, if you're not already sick of Angelina Jolie. Also kick-ass, but mostly adorable, and just incredibly sexy, and cute and happy, and okay, do you see how much I like this movie? It's got the FBI and CIA and Interpol, and all I could say the whole time while watching it was, "Awwwwwwww." Seriously, girls, go watch it.

22.Knight and Day, because Tom Cruise is like fine wine; he gets sexier with age. Also because holy macraoni, Diaz in a bikini! Best thing 2012 gave me:

Life is good, man. Life is real good.

And if need some more Diaz in your life, check out Charlie's Angels from 2003, which actually does not suck. Much.

On the other hand, Tom Cruise has a lot to offer besides Mission Impossible - if you're into sci-fi (and even if you're not) check out Minority Report, Oblivion and Edge of Tomorrow.

And if you're not into sci-fi but still want some Tom Cruise action, you could try the 1986 classic Top Gun, or the movie quoted most often in the hit TV show Suits, Jerry McGuire. ("Show me the money!", remember?)

23.   For some of the best duos in Hollywood,

·         Starsky and Hutch, with Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson

·         Shanghai Knights, with Owen Wilson and Jackie Chan

·         Rush Hour Trilogy with Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker

·         21 Jump Street, with Channing Tatum (!!!!!) and Jonah Hill

·         22 Jump Street, which is surprisingly enough, just as good as the first

Well that's it. I know there's only 24 bullets, but that's a list of 100 KICKASS SUMMER MOVIES.

If you don;t believe me, here's everything I talked about:

1.     Avengers

2.     Iron Man 1

3.     Iron Man 2

4.     Iron Man 3

5.     Captain America: The First Avenger

6.     Captain America: Winter Soldier

7.     Thor

8.     Thor: Dark World

9.     Guardians of the Galaxy (COMING THIS SUMMER)

10.   Die Another Day

11.   Golden Eye

12.   Casino Royale

13.   Quantum of Solace

14.   Despicable Me

15.   Ice Age

16.   Madagascar

17.   Shrek

18.   Independence Day

19.   Indiana Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)

20.   Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)

21.   Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)

22.   Lara Croft Tomb Raider

23.   Lara Croft Tomb Raider: Cradle of Life

24.   Armageddon

25.   The Day After Tomorrow

26.   Ted

27.   Sherlock Holmes

28.   Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows

29.   Wanted

30.   Salt

31.   The Matrix

32.   Minority report

33.   Pretty Woman

34.   Notting Hill

35.   Two Weeks Notice

36.   The Lake House

37.   The Proposal

38.   Ocean's Eleven

39.   Ocean's Twelve

40.   Ocean's Thirteen

41.   The Fast and The Furious

42.   2 Fast 2 Furious

43.   Fast and Furious

44.   Fast 5

45.   Furious 6

46.   Inside Man

47.   Bank Job

48.   The Italian Job

49.   Transporter

50.   Transporter 2

51.   Transporter 3

52.   The Mechanic

53.   Crank

54.   Crank 2

55.   Gone in 60 Seconds

56.   Death Race 1

57.   Terminator

58.   Terminator: Judgement Day

59.   Terminator: Rise of the Machines

60.   Terminator Salvation

61.   Real Steel

62.   I, Robot

63.   The Prestige

64.   Memento

65.   Inception

66.   Batman Begins

67.   The Dark Knight

68.   The Dark Knight Rises

69.   Interstellar (A Christopher Nolan movie, coming this summer!)

70.   The Wolf of Wall Street

71.   Catch Me If You Can

72.   Die Hard

73.   Die Hard 2

74.   Die Hard with a Vengeance

75.   R.E.D.

76.   Now You See Me

77.   The Silence of The Lambs

78.   The Devil Wears Prada

79.   G. I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra

80.   The Bourne Identity

81.   The Bourne Supremacy

82.   The Bourne Ultimatum

83.   The Bourne Legacy

84.   Knight and Day

85.   Charlie's Angels

86.   Mission Impossible

87.   Mission Impossible II

88.   Mission Impossible III

89.   Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol

90.   Oblivion

91.   Edge of Tomorrow

92.   Top Gun

93.   Jerry McGuire

94.   Starsky and Hutch

95.   Shanghai Knights

96.   Rush Hour

97.   Rush Hour 2

98.   Rush Hour 3

99.   21 Jump Street

100.  22 Jump Street

Sometime next week, I'm doing a full list of chick-flicks and animated movies, so be sure to check in then.

Do you want me to continue the TV show reviews as well? Let me know! Also, don't forget to share, google+ and add me to your circle, for updates on new posts.

Thanks for reading!

Cheers, Ketki.