Hey y'all.
It's been a while., hasn't it?
First off, a little catching up:
The Review Project: Are y'all still
into that? It got a pretty good repsonse (Nearly 200 views in all, so far), but
if you want me to go on, I may start a kind of poll or something - fully
anonymous, so let me know what you guys want, and I'll go with that.
The Loud Project: Next up is a copy
of Taylor Swift's Red album cover. No promises for when cause my schedule is so
full, it stopped being funny a long time ago.
Okay, that seems to be it. On with
the show.
Summer's here! What a bitch, right?
Anyway, Ramadeen Kareem to
everyone, and honestly, to all of you guys who're gonna be fasting this summer,
you bitches be hardcore, man.
Respect.
Still, now you have all this time,
and nothign to do. And movies, well, movies are always an option right? Here's another of my crazy lists:
100 of the GREATEST SUMMER MOVIES EVER:
Kinda important note: If you don't actually wanna read the whole thing, a bare list is there if you scroll all the way down. Still this is the fun version so, you know, take your pick.
Summer Movies = not too much plot,
hell of a lot of fun, and some crazy
hot boys (and girls. Angelina Jolie, yum).
1.
All the Marvel movies ever made (Avengers,
Iron Man, CApt. America, Thor)
(Except Edward Norton as Hulk (2008). What as absolute fucking
disaster.)
2.
James Bond movies. Especially the ones with Pierce
Brosnan and Daniel Craig. Not because they're pretty (though they are *drool), but okay. This happens pretty
often:
Aaaaaaand this blog is officially
not PG anymore. (Not that it ever was, but still.)
Anyway, check out Die Another Day, Golden
Eye, Casino Royale and Quantum of Solace.
3.
Despicable Me & Ice Age &
Madagascar & Shrek
Yes they're animated, and honestly?
okay, honestly? I do not give a fuck
how you're too macho or "cool" or whatever you are to not watch it,
okay? FUCKIN WATCH IT. ...I'm such a
bully. :s
4.
Independence Day
I'll admit, the CGI is just shit, but, okay, WILL SMITH BATTLES
ALIENS PILOTING A SPACESHIP. 'Nuff said.
5.
Indiana Jones Trilogy, bitches!
You thought James Bond was smooth?
Awww, that's cute. ....no. This guy
was all leather and whips before that pansy-ass bitch Christian Grey became
popular. Indiana Jones is a GOD, okay?
So hot you barely notice the man
purse. ("IT'S A SATCHEL!")
(speaking of which, go watch Hangover, because you're a teenager, and life is
awesome.)
5
and 1/2: Lara Croft Trilogy - Why?
Because she's the female Indiana Jones. Also because Daniel Craig. Also because
treasure hunts and hidden treasures and general kick-ass-ness.
6.
Armageddon, because SHIT. BLOWS. UP. (It's a
Michael Bay movie, by the way. You know, the guy who made Transformers? Yeah. Him.)
Also because Ben Affleck is really
fucking hot.
God, such pretty lips. (WHAT IS
WRONG WITH ME UGH!!!)
Also, if you liked Armageddon, then
The Day After Tomorrow because, like
Armageddon, the world almost ends, which is always fun to watch, and, like
Armageddon, it has that one hot guy you drool over - here, that's Jake
Gyllenhaal.
7.
Ted, because you watched all the
Hangover movies (and all the American Pie movies) and now you need more pervy
crap.
8.
Sherlock Holmes, because Cumberbatch won't be here
for another 2 years and we need to make do with Robert Downey Jr. Also, because
Robert Downey Jr.
9.
Wanted, because you watched Lara Croft and
now you need more Angelina Jolie. Also, James McAvoy and Morgan Freeman.
Who kill other people, because
that's just how they roll. It's awesome.
If you liked Lara Croft and Wanted,
go ahead and watch Salt, because
Angelina Jolie is a Russian spy, and wears a trenchcoat. Also, this happens:
Angie's all like, "Jeez, this
bitch again. Die." So good.
10.
The Matrix, because it's got mind-bending
(LITERALLY) science-fiction, the slickest superhero ever, and lots of people in
black leather trenchcoats. Cause let's face it. Trenchcoats are always a sign of good things to come.
The Matrix is a trilogy, but
seriously, watch the first movie and then let
it go. I don't know what the director was smoking, but I'm pretty sure his
dealer took a piss in it, because the sequels suck so bad, they broke my heart.
If you liked the Matrix, or if
sci-fi is your thing, go watch Tom Cruise's Minority Report, where there's crazy murders, an evil government,
and the best kind of one-man fight for freedom. Be warned for massively insane
plotlines and a crazy AU.
11.
Pretty Woman, because this is closest thing I
have ever seen to a Cinderella story, and it makes me cry every single time.
Also because the lovin' will set your panties on fire. Not for the boys though,
sorry.
If you liked Julia Roberts in
Pretty Woman, be sure to check out Notting
Hill, because Hugh Grant and Jules makes the most adorable couple ever.
Also because it's kind of a reverse Cinderella story, and Grant is adorkable.
AND, if you like Hugh Grant in Notting
Hill, you'll probably love him in Two
Weeks Notice opposite Sandra Bullock.
AND,
(I'm on a roll
now) if you liked TWN, go watch Sandra and Keanu Reeves (the Matrix guy) in the
MOST ADORABLE MOVIE OF ALL TIME: "The Lake House".
AND,
The Proposal because
it's wonderful and dorky and cute and Ryan Reynolds has an amazing butt.
Kay, back to non-sappy movies.
12.
The
Ocean's Series and Fast &
Furious, because holy shit, how
slick are these guys? Two of the best heist franchises I've ever seen (Avoid
F&F3:Tokyo Drift, because there has never been a worse movie ever. EVER. )
If you like any of the movies from
these two franchises, check out Inside
Man featuring Denzel Washington and Clive Owen, as well as Bank Job featuring Jason Statham. Another
amazing heist movie is The Italian Job,
featuring Mark Wahlberg, Jason Statham and Charlize Theron.
Also, if you're as in love with
Jason Statham as I am, check out the Transporter
Trilogy, The Mechanic and the Crank
series.
If, on the other hand, you just
want a good heist/racing movie, then check out Nicholas Cage in Gone in 60 Seconds, and Death Race 1, with, yet again, Jason
Statham. I'm in love, whatcha gonna do about it? Huh? HUH?
13.
Terminator, because Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Also because okay, machines have feelings too, you heartless bitches. Also
because I managed to spell Schwarzenegger.
Real
Steel, and look, I
know Rotten Tomatoes gave it a shit rating, and I know I'm biased because it
has Hugh Jackman, but man, I've seen this movie 4 times now, and I still find it awesome and adorable and
totally kick-ass, so it's got something beyond Jackman's triceps going for it
okay. It has this:
See that kid? Yeah. That kid is the
best thing to happen to cinema in a long while. You watch the movie for that
kid, and you're golden, mate.
If you liked Real Steel, I, Robot is pretty much a slam-dunk for
you; equal amounts of metallic badassness and robots-have-feelings-too mush.
Oh, and Will Smith. That man has the best smile ever.
14.
Every single Christopher Nolan
Movie ever made.
·
The
Prestige (Dhoom 3 was basically a bad rip-off)
·
Memento
(Ghajini was basically a non-sucky rip-off)
·
Inception
·
The
Batman trilogy (he gave you Anne Hathaway in a leather catsuit. You owe this man.)
·
Coming
soon: Interstellar (Link to teaser trailer here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3WzHXI5HizQ)
15.
The Wolf of Wall Street, because Leo didn't get an Oscar (again), but he sure as hell deserved
one.
Can I just mention here: Even
though a lot of people have been whinging about how DiCaprio deserved an Oscar
and didn't get one for Wolf and blippity-blah-blah, the real movie where he deserved an Oscar was long, long ago: Steven Spielberg's Catch Me If You Can features Leo as a
cocky twenty-something who, disguising himself as a pilot, scammed Pan America
Airlines of millions of dollars and
managed to travel the globe too - for free.
16.
Die Hard series, because Rambo is too old, and The
Expendables is too fucking stupid, and Bruce Willis is the ultimate BAMF.
If you liked Die Hard, check out
Liam Neeson's Taken, for more
father-daughter sappiness, and older men kicking some serious ass.
17.
Now You See Me, because Jesse Eisenberg is the most
fabulous bitch to have ever lived, and Dave Franco is heart-breakingly
pretty. Also, because it kinda reminded me of The Prestige and Inception and
Ocean's Eleven all rolled into one, so if you liked any of those, you like this
even more. Also, um, there's Morgan Freeman and Micheal Caine, so if that means anything to you then... yeah. GO WATCH IT.
18.
The Silence of the Lambs, because if you don't Hannibal
Lecter will eat your fuckin' tongue. "With a nice Chianti and some fava beans."
Hannibal, as played by Anthony Hopkins Jr. was rated as the greatest villain of all time and with
good reason people. Don't watch it alone, kay?
19.
The Devil Wears Prada, because dude, you'll be an intern
soon, and no matter how much your boss will suck, it can't get any more worse
than Anne Hathaway's situation. Also, because like pretty dresses!!!! :D
20.
G. I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra, because I've been in love with
Channing Tatum since I was 11, and I haven't gotten over it. But honestly, not
any other reasons. Sorry.
21.
The Bourne series, because, no matter how popular
Mission IMpossible becomes and how often "The name's Bond. James
Bond.", is repeated, Matt Damon as James Bourne is hands-down, pants-off the best spy thriller series ever made.
Also, because this blog needs
more Johnny Depp (all good things in life are better with Johnny Depp) go watch
The Tourist, if you're not already
sick of Angelina Jolie. Also kick-ass, but mostly adorable, and just incredibly
sexy, and cute and happy, and okay, do you see how much I like this movie? It's
got the FBI and CIA and Interpol, and all I could say the whole time while
watching it was, "Awwwwwwww." Seriously, girls, go watch it.
22.Knight
and Day, because
Tom Cruise is like fine wine; he gets sexier with age. Also because holy macraoni,
Diaz in a bikini! Best thing 2012 gave me:
Life
is good, man. Life is real good.
And
if need some more Diaz in your life, check out Charlie's Angels from 2003, which actually does not suck. Much.
On
the other hand, Tom Cruise has a lot to offer besides Mission Impossible - if you're into sci-fi (and even if you're not)
check out Minority Report, Oblivion and
Edge of Tomorrow.
And
if you're not into sci-fi but still
want some Tom Cruise action, you could try the 1986 classic Top Gun, or the movie quoted most often
in the hit TV show Suits, Jerry McGuire. ("Show me the money!", remember?)
23.
For
some of the best duos in Hollywood,
·
Starsky and Hutch, with Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson
·
Shanghai Knights, with Owen Wilson and Jackie Chan
·
Rush Hour Trilogy with Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker
·
21 Jump Street, with Channing Tatum (!!!!!) and
Jonah Hill
·
22 Jump Street, which is surprisingly enough, just
as good as the first
Well
that's it. I know there's only 24 bullets, but that's a list of 100 KICKASS SUMMER MOVIES.
If
you don;t believe me, here's everything I talked about:
1.
Avengers
2.
Iron
Man 1
3.
Iron
Man 2
4.
Iron
Man 3
5.
Captain
America: The First Avenger
6.
Captain
America: Winter Soldier
7.
Thor
8.
Thor:
Dark World
9.
Guardians
of the Galaxy (COMING THIS SUMMER)
10.
Die
Another Day
11.
Golden
Eye
12.
Casino
Royale
13.
Quantum
of Solace
14.
Despicable
Me
15.
Ice
Age
16.
Madagascar
17.
Shrek
18.
Independence
Day
19.
Indiana
Jones: Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
20.
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984)
21.
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989)
22.
Lara
Croft Tomb Raider
23.
Lara
Croft Tomb Raider: Cradle of Life
24.
Armageddon
25.
The
Day After Tomorrow
26.
Ted
27.
Sherlock
Holmes
28.
Sherlock
Holmes: Game of Shadows
29.
Wanted
30.
Salt
31.
The
Matrix
32.
Minority
report
33.
Pretty
Woman
34.
Notting
Hill
35.
Two
Weeks Notice
36.
The
Lake House
37.
The
Proposal
38.
Ocean's
Eleven
39.
Ocean's
Twelve
40.
Ocean's
Thirteen
41.
The
Fast and The Furious
42.
2
Fast 2 Furious
43.
Fast
and Furious
44.
Fast
5
45.
Furious
6
46.
Inside
Man
47.
Bank
Job
48.
The
Italian Job
49.
Transporter
50.
Transporter
2
51.
Transporter
3
52.
The
Mechanic
53.
Crank
54.
Crank
2
55.
Gone
in 60 Seconds
56.
Death
Race 1
57.
Terminator
58.
Terminator:
Judgement Day
59.
Terminator:
Rise of the Machines
60.
Terminator
Salvation
61.
Real
Steel
62.
I,
Robot
63.
The
Prestige
64.
Memento
65.
Inception
66.
Batman
Begins
67.
The
Dark Knight
68.
The
Dark Knight Rises
69.
Interstellar
(A Christopher Nolan movie, coming this
summer!)
70.
The
Wolf of Wall Street
71.
Catch
Me If You Can
72.
Die
Hard
73.
Die
Hard 2
74.
Die
Hard with a Vengeance
75.
R.E.D.
76.
Now
You See Me
77.
The
Silence of The Lambs
78.
The
Devil Wears Prada
79.
G.
I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra
80.
The
Bourne Identity
81.
The
Bourne Supremacy
82.
The
Bourne Ultimatum
83.
The
Bourne Legacy
84.
Knight
and Day
85.
Charlie's
Angels
86.
Mission
Impossible
87.
Mission
Impossible II
88.
Mission
Impossible III
89.
Mission
Impossible: Ghost Protocol
90.
Oblivion
91.
Edge
of Tomorrow
92.
Top
Gun
93.
Jerry
McGuire
94.
Starsky
and Hutch
95.
Shanghai
Knights
96.
Rush
Hour
97.
Rush
Hour 2
98.
Rush
Hour 3
99.
21
Jump Street
100. 22 Jump Street
Sometime
next week, I'm doing a full list of chick-flicks and animated movies, so be
sure to check in then.
Do
you want me to continue the TV show reviews as well? Let me know! Also, don't forget to share, google+ and add me to your circle, for updates on new posts.
Thanks for reading!
Cheers, Ketki.
